If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Randomize
