you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
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