just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Randomize
