if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
Randomize
