she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
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