Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
Randomize
