she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
Randomize
