therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
Fun fact: My predictive text now prompts "walrus" as the most likely word to follow "intoxicated"...
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
Randomize
