So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
