What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
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