This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
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