Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
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