is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
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