White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize