brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
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