Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Randomize
