I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
Randomize
