Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
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