there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
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