Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
Randomize
