super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
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