we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
Randomize
