Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
