How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
Had dinner with a married woman but didn't have sex with her. Tweeted at Mike Pence to apologize anyway.
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
Randomize
