He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
dude. I can hear the air.
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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