....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
there is puke in my bra ... again
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