her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
Randomize
