halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
Maybe he injected his testicle?
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
Randomize
