i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
Randomize