YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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