someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
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