Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
