I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
People with herpes should wear stickers.
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
You don't make any sense
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