I wanna passion pit in your ass
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
accomplished twins. life is a go
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
Randomize
