What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
Randomize
