Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
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