I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
I lost the right to judge tonight
Randomize