i think i have two assholes
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
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