how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
Randomize