Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
Randomize
