Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
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