fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
Randomize
