It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
