I cheated on you last night. I slept with my laptop.
"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
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