I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
