i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
Randomize
