Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
Randomize
