my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
Randomize
