It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Randomize