she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize
