Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(407): View more from Florida

If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.

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(281): View more from Texas

i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy

Fav 4 2972 965
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(270): View more from Kentucky

Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?

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(732): View more from New Jersey

obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.

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(219): View more from Indiana

I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed

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(770): View more from Georgia

Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit

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(602): View more from Arizona

You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.

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(724): View more from Pennsylvania

No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.

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(610): View more from Pennsylvania

Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.

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