Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
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