the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize
