all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
Randomize
