Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
Randomize
