i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
Randomize
