He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
Randomize
