so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
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