My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
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