Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
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