Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
Dear awkwardly drunk roommate, thanks for stuffing enough change in my clevage that I could afford a pepsi at work today. Sincerely awesome roommate that put up with your drunk ass
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
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