epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
Randomize
