You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
Randomize
