im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Randomize
