just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
Randomize
