Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
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