well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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