why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
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