don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
I just googled if crying burns calories
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
Will exercising make me less horny?
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize
