is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
Randomize