Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
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